Travel Changes You
In January, I was with friends at a birthday party in Chicago. One of my besties let the group know that my former church was embarking on a mission trip to Costa Rica. I knew nothing more than this. Didn't know exactly where they were going, what was to be done, or who was going. Nada. "Oh, I'm going on that trip" whispered in my ear.
Now, I know to pay attention when my inner knowing speaks to me. I don't always abide and sometimes I am not sure if it's my ego or my inner guru but I stop for a moment to reflect and decide when this happens. I don't always make the right choice, but this time I did. So, I signed up for the trip.
We left early on a Saturday morning, the day before my 60th birthday. I guessed that I would be spending my day with strangers in a foreign country. Lennon, my beautiful (don't get me started) 2 1/2 y/o granddaughter called me and sang "Happy Birthday" to me on the day, so I felt quite at-home.
We arrived in San Jose and drove a bit over an hour to RobleAlto in the mountains. This is a neighborhood of a group of homes, a school, a cafeteria and a volunteer home complete with soccer field, basketball court, playground equipment and a breathtaking view of the countryside.
Eighteen of us, all strangers to me, stayed together in the volunteer home, complete with a "giant" gecko and random Costa Rican insects and butterflies. It rained a little bit every day as we worked to do our part to construct 2 therapy rooms that will be utilized to support the 70+ children that live there.
Every day we had 2 coffee breaks....hard for us workers to slow down but the Costa Ricans value the break as a time for intentional connection and so we complied. Connecting with each other was priceless.
Every night the volunteers broke up into teams of 2 and attended dinner with their "families" (made up of 10 children, aged 4-12 y/o as well as the "mom or mom/dad" of the house). We shared devotional time and interacted with the kids after dinner. They played chess, duck-duck-goose, showed us their rooms, and sometimes made beaded bracelets. And there were always alot of hugs, all of us hungry for love and affection and not afraid to show it.
One afternoon, I was standing on the hill near the school when the dismissal bell rang and the kids came running out, laughing and shouting. They had no technology but they had something much more valuable, community. After school, we played sports with them. They looked so happy, these innocent children who had been abused, neglected or abandoned, were filled with hope and joy. It was contagious. 2 of our volunteers even scored homeruns!!
We were always smiling, laughing, dancing, singing, hugging. At night we debriefed and there was almost always tears: tears of gratitude, tears of disbelief that these innocent children had suffered, and our own tears of children or childhoods lost. Some of us shared our stories of pain. It allowed us to see the child in each of us, longing for love and compassion.
For 5 days, we worked side by side. Sometimes electricity went out. Sometimes we had to visit the Nurse's office for a nasty scrape or 2. We had great laughs over Ribar and sanding and having to keep track of 18 people. We played cards at night and got yelled at for being too loud. We got to know each other, eat together, make the most of what we had in the short time that we had.
On one of our last nights at RobleAlto, we had a celebration party with all of the staff and kids and volunteers. All we had was music and a few balloons and some snacks but the time was rich with good vibes and as always, love and laughter.
My oldest daughter, Emily Rose, visited Costa Rica on a mission trip some years ago, working to save the sea turtles. Costa Rica remained in her heart and she always wished to go back there. I can't help but think that she was whispering in my ear that night in January. She was the main impetus for going on the trip. I brought some of her ashes with me. I waited to feel heartfully compelled as to where to leave some. Finally, at the Britt coffee plantation, I remembered how much Emily loved coffee. She was like a sommelier about coffee. Lovingly, breaking down along the way, I left some ashes there at the plantation and upon arriving back at camp, eft some more under a beautiful old tree at RobleAlto.
Part of her will always be in Costa Rica and I look forward to my return there.
I relearned something that I've had to learn over and over...to get out of my own way and to believe that I am as much a part of something as I believe myself to be. When I acknowledge my self-defeating thoughts ("you're so ridiculous. you're not good at that. nobody wants you here. you're in the way. you're too much, etc."), I have learned to gently push them aside. "Oh, yeah, I knew you'd show up", I say to myself, and then I dig in and smile or say something. Then I pat myself on the back for showing up. There's no need or time for self-hate. There's no reason to be so mean to ourselves, but still the ego wants to keep us in check and so these mean voices show up. I have learned to usher them aside and let the encouraging voices in.
On our last day in Costa Rica we went on an adventure to a beautiful waterfall park, La Paz. Breathtaking. The 18 of us, a new family formed, wandered in wonder at the beauty of nature. We went back to RobleAlto, said goodbye to "our" kids and had a lovely evening together.
We didn't complete the project. Another group will come to do the next stages of construction. The magic was in doing what we could, together. The gift was in being a part of the bigger picture. The honor was in reminding these 71 little souls that there are people (little lights) in the world who love and care about them, whether seen or unseen. This is something that we all need to know.
You are enough. You are loved. You matter.
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful people can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead)
**To my new family of 18 or 18 + RobleAlto, I am forever grateful for having been there with you.**
