Hey you!
Here, at Beauty in the Balance, this is the place where we will be pouring out tips, tools, and accumulated information and education about everything health and wellness.
The Sixth Pillar of Health:
Relationships & Connection
To recap, these are the 6 pillars of health that I focus on: Nutrition, Hydration, Movement, Sleep, Stress Management, and Relationships/Connection.
The tip this week:
BUILD COMMUNITY. LOVE PEOPLE.
BUILD COMMUNITY. LOVE PEOPLE.
Ahhhh! My favorite pillar! Healthy relationships are as important to our health and well-being as is the breath. We are not meant to live in isolation. Human beings are designed to connect and thrive through relationships. As far back as the beginning of civilization, human beings realized that social bonds helped ensure humans’ survival. Sharing food, caring for infants and building social networks helped our ancestors meet the daily challenges of their environments. “One of the important determinants of well-being is a sense of community connectedness and belonging” (ncbi.nim.nih.gov).
As a matter of fact, “lacking connection can increase the risk for premature death to levels comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day”, according to the U.S. Surgeon General. This report states that the physical consequences of poor connection or lack of connection can be devastating, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease, 32% increased risk of stroke and 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. C’mon people, let’s start taking this seriously. We need each other! In the absence of healthy relationships, our health will suffer.
It goes without saying that we all have relationships that challenge us, test our patience, and push what we know as our personal boundaries. AND we can grow through them. We can examine them and reinvent them as we continue to hold onto them. Of course, there are also relationships that we have to let go of, even if only for a season. We always have a choice and we must choose what is nourishing for us.
“One of the important determinants of well-being is a sense of community connectedness and belonging” (ncbi.nim.nih.gov).
When my mom lived in an independent retirement community, she chose to stay in her apartment isolated from the other residents.
Downstairs, there were plenty of people and activities to participate in but she chose isolation. It was very difficult for her to step outside her comfort zone to potentially embrace connecting with others. This was heartbreaking for me. I would tell her, “it’s always better to be with people”. Ironically, the motto for Jim Beam whiskey has become, “ people are good for you”. Perhaps they’re recognizing the impact that loneliness has on health and wellness. I’m convinced that she would’ve been happier if she had taken the risk to connect.
It IS a risk! It makes me feel like I’m in Kindergarten, stepping out from a safe haven to an unknown territory by opening myself up to someone. The difference is that because of my personal growth work, the discomfort doesn’t last long. For many years I was alone. I felt like a stranger in my own family. We used to joke that I was adopted, as I was very different from my family members. Although as different as my sister and I were from each other, we were connected. We traversed through many ups and downs in our relationship and my relationship with her is one of the most valuable things in my life. My familial differences created a deep sense of loneliness that would accompany me for many years. It also created an awareness of my hunger to be connected to others.
As the universe will, it provided many opportunities for me to grow. By growing my own family, becoming a nurse, cultivating a running career and eventually joining Group, I learned to be vulnerable with the intention of belonging. I started volunteer work, going on mission trips, and creating social outings. Work and church also provided opportunities to build relationships. It has been the best part of my life…connecting with others.
When I moved to Arizona 2 years ago, I realized that to continue to grow my life I would have to build more relationships. Primarily, I began to build more connection with my family here. I held onto my beautiful relationships that I left in the Midwest. I connect with my family and friends back there regularly. I travel back to visit a few times each year. I’m working on building connection with new friends here, too, at my new work environment and through my grief group.
Relationships take time and effort and I am up for the challenge because the payoff is worth it.
In sum, I studied the Blue Zones project during my training at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. When Dan Buettner, Blue Zones guru, explored the world with the intention of not only finding the healthiest places on the planet but sharing the secrets to longevity, one of the key commonalities between these thriving communities was “connection”. Connection/relationship is as vital to long, healthy living as is quality nutrition, restful sleep, physical movement, adequate hydration and stress management.
When my brother, Harry, passed away suddenly in 2014 I got acquainted with the abundance of community that he had created for himself. He was not wealthy. His business was barely getting by at the time of his death. He lived alone, divorced for many years. BUT, he had created an amazing community of family and friends. That is where his wealth existed and I feel the same to be true for myself. I wish the same for you!